Hi
Been a while since i wrote on here, but then again not really done alot for the last good few weeks. Just the bare necessities, ie shopping, dropping things off to friends.
Really feeling down, even waking up depressed. In fact things are that bad i've felt like ending it all. Feel that i just can't cope anymore. SS being here makes things alot worse. Seems like since he moved back there has been a really heavy black feeling over the house. Which now i think about it was at the old house (yes he was there too). Looking at the date of my last entry, was the day before he moved back in. Coincidence or what.
Can't do much about him being here, so sort of decided to ignore the fact that he is here (most of the time he spends upstairs on playstation) and try and get my life back on track. Trying to start by sorting out my room. Reason that there is only me that really uses it so if its in a mess its down to me, unlike rest of house, where i clean up and two mins later nobody would notice. Then once i can prove to myself that i can do it, can tackle rest of house or new house if we've moved by the time i get things sorted.
Dr has put me on some steroid nasal spray as when we were in Majorca, people in room next door came knocking on door coz i was making that much noise. Me don't know anything about it, Tony says it happened, lol. Go to hospital on 8 April, coz Tony says i sometimes gasp for breath during my snoring.
Now have a migraine coming on, so will finish this now. For once writing it all down hasn't really helped. But there is always tomorrow lol.
Been a while since i wrote on here, but then again not really done alot for the last good few weeks. Just the bare necessities, ie shopping, dropping things off to friends.
Really feeling down, even waking up depressed. In fact things are that bad i've felt like ending it all. Feel that i just can't cope anymore. SS being here makes things alot worse. Seems like since he moved back there has been a really heavy black feeling over the house. Which now i think about it was at the old house (yes he was there too). Looking at the date of my last entry, was the day before he moved back in. Coincidence or what.
Can't do much about him being here, so sort of decided to ignore the fact that he is here (most of the time he spends upstairs on playstation) and try and get my life back on track. Trying to start by sorting out my room. Reason that there is only me that really uses it so if its in a mess its down to me, unlike rest of house, where i clean up and two mins later nobody would notice. Then once i can prove to myself that i can do it, can tackle rest of house or new house if we've moved by the time i get things sorted.
Dr has put me on some steroid nasal spray as when we were in Majorca, people in room next door came knocking on door coz i was making that much noise. Me don't know anything about it, Tony says it happened, lol. Go to hospital on 8 April, coz Tony says i sometimes gasp for breath during my snoring.
Now have a migraine coming on, so will finish this now. For once writing it all down hasn't really helped. But there is always tomorrow lol.
Comments
Posted: 03/24/08 10:22:15
Posted: 03/26/08 06:28:22
So sorry to know you are going through such a rough time. Life is not easy for any of us but we have to make the most of each day which isnt always easy. Hope you got that room of yours sorted out for a start. I hate when mine is in a mess and it does help when its all soted to lift some depression. I know what you mean about SS about all the time Hopefully your husband will deal with it.. My son only worked part time for years and it was a nightmare for me but now he is working full time in a supermarket which is wonderful.Try and keep your lips zipped unless you have something really positive to say to SS to keep the relationship managable. Can you get out for walks,long ones that can help depression. You seem to be involved in lots of creative activities which sound good
Chin up.After the housework which is endless for all of us is done enjoy useing the new stuff you got in the post today
Hugs
Charlotte 3
Posted: 04/02/08 05:36:41
well - reading some of your problems I could have been reading about myself - even down to the steroid nose spray! My divorce and subsequent separation from 2 of my children (their choice) 10 years ago was the most terrible time and it still comes back and haunts me when I least expect it. However, bridges were built and the two that chose their Dad are now the parents of my grandchildren, and things are good, but that isn't to say that I don't remember and still hurt inside. I was determined not to let the ex see how terrible I felt at the time, but that all came out in a breakdown 2 years ago. I had dismissed therapy as just a lot of chat, but in fact it was most helpful and so I wished I had tried this sooner. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that if you need a sympathetic ear, please email. I also got a book - think it's called 'stop thinking and start living' (something like that) which is I found helpful.
Best wishes
Dee x